I am given up.
And nothing in the world is lovlier than sleep,
dark, dreamless sleep, in deep oblivion!
Nothing in life is quite so good as this.
Yet there is waking from the soundest sleep,
waking, and waking new.
Did you sleep well?
Ah yes, the sleep of God!
The world is created afresh.
The feelings I don’t have I don’t have. The feeling I don’t have, I won’t say I have. The feelings you say you have, you don’t have. The feelings you would like us both to have, we neither of us have. The feelings people ought to have, they never have. If people say they’ve got feelings, you may be pretty sure they haven’t got them. So if you want either of us to feel anything at all You’d better abandon all ideas of feelings altogether.
This is where it all began, and where it all ended. Almost.
And dimly she realised one of the great laws of the human soul: that when the emotional soul receives a wounding shock, which does not kill the body, the soul seems to recover as the body recovers. But this is only appearance. It is, really, only the mechanism of re-assumed habit. Slowly, slowly the wound to the soul begins to make itself felt, like a bruise which only slowly deepens its terrible ache, till it fills all the psyche. And when we think we have recovered and forgotten, it is then that the terrible after-effects have to be encountered at their worst. (49:9 - 27)